Words, It's Only Words

Lotte was ticking off a list of items, and packing each item away as she did.

She took a deep breath. "It looks like we're missing just one or two things."

"One or two things?" Cola enquired.

Lotte nodded, "Well," she said, "We've not actually counted his journal as a 'thing', because you're intending on keeping it."

Cola's nose twitched and she frowned. "We're the only ones who know it exists. Maybe if I'd finished reading it I'd have let him have it." She brightened up a bit, "Maybe I could give it to him after I've read it?"

"I think he might notice it wasn't there originally?" Lotte added to Cola's musings, "Plus we don't actually know where he lives."

Cola frowned again, then in an inquiring tone "Well, that's the half-a-thing you mentioned?"

Lotte looked at the ground and mumbled something. Cola looked as if the frown was going to become a permanent fixture on her face. "Lotte!" She admonished.

"In-mumble-mumble-mumble-ica" Lotte said a little louder.

"Pardon?" Cola said putting her full school-teacher voice behind the word.

"Encyclopaedia Connitanica." She said just loud enough to be heard.

"Oh sugar!" Cola said with wide eyes. Lotte nodded. "You mean we're missing all twenty-six volumes?" Lotte nodded. "And the indexes?" Lotte's impersonation of a nodding dog reached new heights.

Cola sat down hard on her chair. "Muslims!" She said as politely as she could. Lotte was confused.

"You think the Muslims have it?"

Cola sat still for a moment. Either Lotte was dumber than usual today or she was pulling Cola's leg. Either way Cola was going to take the opportunity to swear properly: "I mean shite!"

Lotte nodded. Cola looked a little frantic. "Dabs Rodgers will know they are missing. No one could possibly miss them!"

Before she could erupt into an impressive monologue that would take another page or more to capture...

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Cola took a second to stand up straight and then called out, "Enter."

Matt poked his head around the corner, "Miss! Phump is back and there's another buck to see you."

"Send Phump in first please." Cola said, composed.

Phump bounded into the office.

"I gave him the message miss."

"Good," Cola began then a spark entered her eyes. "Phump," She said, "There's one more thing we need you to do for us today." He nodded. His brain kicked in and his eyes started darting from Cola to Lotte and back again. His brain added one and one together and came to, well, about three hundred and seven. He grinned.

Cola turned her back on him.

She crossed her arms around her back and held her hands together in the reverse-prayer motion of the commandant.

"We need you to locate the old Head Buck's Encyclopaedia Connitanica." Cola said.

"All twenty six volumes." Lotte added.

"And the indexes." Cola finished.

Phump looked disappointed.

A cough came from by the door. Not a chesty-get-the-Vicks-out cough. More of a cough that said

"'Ullo, Madam"

"Hello." Cola said, to the coughing buck, not quite losing her stride.

He was a small buck, not young but probably not very old either standing by the door. He had permanently moving eyes and a permanent grin on his face. If he were human he'd have a straight-man side kick called Rodney. Or some such.

"I'm Albert." He said holding his hand out. "But you can call me Al. Can I call you Betty?"

Cola and Lotte both twisted their heads through ninety degrees to roll their eyes at each other.

"Maybe not," Al said, "It's not your name is it."

"Who are you?" Cola managed to ask once her eyes and head had returned to their normal positions.

"I'm the buck, "Al wringed his hands together. "Who's here to save your porkine harrises!"

"Meaning?"

"I'm the buck who knows where to, "He ducked his head, "Locate," He shifted his eyes from side to side, "Twenty six volumes of a particular encyclopaedia and, to boot, an index volume. Only..." He mouthed a few words to himself, "Only two previous owners." Then seemed to change his mind. "Three if you include me."

Cola jumped towards Al and wrapped her arms around his wiry frame.

"Thank you!" She shouted at the top of her voice as she hugged him.

Al coughed again. This time rather loudly. He could use a cough for a number of purposes. This one said "You're killing me here can I please get a breath in."

Cola let him go. He coughed again. This one said "Thank you." She thought she caught the words in it this time.

Lotte and Cola were beaming at their good fortune. Phump was looking a little disappointed because his next job was out of the window.

"Oh, how can I ever thank you!" Cola said rhetorically.

Sometimes however, a rhetorical question is answered. This was one of those times.

"I was thinking of twenty seven big ones." He moved his head in a motion like a pigeon, "Although to you I'll make it twenty-six. I'll throw the indexes in."

"Twenty-six?" Cola asked not sure what she'd heard.

"Twenty six big ones." Al said, nodding with a cheshire grin.

"Big Ones?" Cola said incredulously. Al nodded., "Tuppences?" Cola asked.

Al stopped nodding, but laughed instead. It wasn't a happy laugh. "Big ones." He said. The three rabbits looked at him, confused. "Gold Coins?" Al added, "About so big?"

He held his hands out as if holding, well, something 'so' big.

"Picture of the queen on one side, picture of, well something on the other side, Chinese fortune cookie motto around the serrated edge?"

"Pound coins?" Cola asked. Al nodded. "Twenty six, pound coins?" Al nodded.

Behind her, quietly, from Lotte, the keeper of the treasury, Cola heard the one simple word that meant so much, "Muslims."

Al didn't hear this as a comment on the state of the warren's treasury and kept on going.

"I've got another possible buyer, so it's a seller's market at the moment." He was still grinning. "Tell you what," he said moving towards the door, "I'll go away and let you think about it and you can call me up if you want them." He reached out his hand and proffered a small piece of card. "This has my details on."

Cola took the card and looked incredulously at Lotte and Phump as Al slid out of the door.

Cola turned slowly to Lotte.

"How much money have we got in the treasury at this moment in time?" She asked in a quiet-not-expecting-much-but-would-enjoy-being-surprised tone of voice.

"Eleven, maybe twelve, "Lotte cast her eyes to the floor and kicked a speck of dust. "Pennies." She finished.

"Muslims." Cola said with force.

"The Muslims have got some money?" Phump said confused.

"Probably," Cola said, "But they are unlikely to loan us any." She took a deep breath, "I have two pound forty seven in my savings."

"I've got nearly fifty pee in mine." Lotte said.

The does turned to Phump. He stood confused for a second.

"I've got an old sixpence and three cheesie wotsits."

"Can I swear?" Cola asked. Lotte nodded. Cola swore properly. Enough to turn the ink blue.

Cola motioned to the chairs and the three of them sat down.

"We need over twenty pounds. Before tomorrow when Dabs Rodgers returns to pick up his Uncle's things." Cola said in a calm voice. "The things he doesn't know we gave away."

"Twenty six pounds." Lotte said, "Less your two and my, not quite half."

"Basically we need twenty four pounds." Cola finished.

The door flung open and Gilchrist stepped in.

With a grand florish he bowed and removed his hat.

"My ladies." He said in the deep, cavernous voice of his. He flipped his hat across the room and it landed squarely in the centre of Cola's desk. "Did I hear correctly?" He pulled up an empty chair to theirs and sat down on it. He leaned back. "Do you require a loan of some sort?"

---*---

Dabs was standing next to the boxes that Cola and Lotte had packed and was ticking things off of a list.

What list was that? Cola thought to herself.

"Is everything you were expecting here?" Cola asked him, trembling slightly. Dabs nodded. Then stopped nodding, realising that he may have been giving the wrong impression. He was biting his lip.

"The only thing I don't seem to see is his journal. My father talked of it often."

"Oh." Cola said quietly.

"It's a bit of a pity really," Dabs said, "It's a proper heirloom you see. Something he created rather than just something he bought." He looked back over the boxes and boxes of books. "Although his full set of the encyclopaedia is something to leave to my children!" He took a breath. "Well, I'll have to pop off to get some muscle bucks to help me load the cart and I'll be off." He turned to the door then turned back at her. "It's a pity you couldn't find his journals. It would have meant a lot to us."

---*---

The cart was loaded. The two stoats had been hitched up to and Dabs had seated himself precariously at the front. He raised the reins to call for the off when...

"Dabs!" Cola came running up to him, clutching a bag. She was out of breath and Dabs waited for her to take some deep breaths.

"Madam." He said inquiringly.

"I think this is his journals." Cola said handing the package over to him. "I didn't think they were anything at all, I found them at the back of a wardrobe, under some, other things and I didn't realise what they were."

Dabs smiled the smile of the proverbial old man. "Thank you, young lady. Did you read any of it?"

"Oh no," Cola said quickly, "There are too many words for me there." She hoped no one could see her crossed fingers. Dabs nodded.

He opened the bag. "Thank you."

He sighed. "I had hoped to find the bound copy. "

"Bound copy?" Cola said, her heart leaped,

"These are just his notes, you see."

"You mean there is another copy?"

"Oh definitely." Dabs said as he secured the parcel behind himself. "At least there used to be a typed and bound version. My father was quite emphatic about it." He raised the reins; "Perhaps you would like to keep an eye out for me in case it turns up?"

"Have a nice journey!" Cola called out as Dabs drove away.

"Now," She said to herself; "I need to find the typed version." She brightened, "The typed version should be in the correct order!"

She skipped off back to her office.

---*---

A few hundred yards outside the warren Dabs brought the cart to a halt.

"She had the notes. Not the journal." He said to no one in particular.

"Has she read them?"

Dabs shook his head, "I don't think so."

"I'll take them."

Dabs reached behind himself and picked the bundle of notes up. He took a long look at them. "They would make fascinating reading. He led such an interesting life."

Dabs tossed them over the side of the cart. Towards no one in particular.

"Well, I'll be seeing you." Dabs said.