Many Times I've Been a Travelling

"I think this is a good place to stop for the night." Madison said, dropping his pack to the floor.

"Night?" Phump thought to himself, "It must be nearly dawn." He stifled a yawn and then decided not to stifle it. His joints ached and he felt like he'd lost half his body-weight in sweat the pace that Madison had kept up the past few hours. In fact it was enough hours to make up nearly a day. If Cadam had explained exactly what travelling with Madison would be like he may have made some complaints about the idea.

---*---

"Phump," Cadam had said as he returned to his seat, "I've got a very important job for you."

Behind them, Malcolm was singing "Swing low, sweet carrot." and a number of the squirrels around were joining in - they weren't to know.

"Job?" Phump said, distracted by both the excitement of the match below him and the constant closeness of Maisie to his side.

"We're splitting up." Cadam said with a little cough. "We need to find Cola."

"Ummm." Phump had said, only a third paying attention.

"Glad you understand." Cadam said in a low voice. "I need you to watch the white rabbit. Not sure if I trust him yet. There's something about him that's familiar..."

That got Phump's attention, he jerked his head away from the match to stare at Cadam.

The first time he'd actually looked at the aged buck for a while and he was a little shocked to see how frail Cadam looked. The Elder wasn't in the first flush of youth, and not really in his second childhood. He wasn't the oldest of bucks, but not far off.

Cadam nodded, "You'll be going with Madison up the river, investigating the burrows along there. I'll take Malcolm and go up this side of the forest. We'll meet in a couple of weeks at the Monastery." His voice lowered again. "Madison wants to visit the Commune. I need you to keep an eye on him."

Phump had given a silent nod. He felt strange, being asked to go off for a couple of weeks with a strange rabbit and act as a spy.

Phump's eyes glazed over as images of himself as a playboy spy came to mind.

Madison arrived. "You okay?" He asked Phump. He took Phump's silence as approval. Madison gave Cadam a look then turned back to Phump. "We'll leave at nightfall. We've got a long journey and we'll make good time under the stars." Cadam gave a sigh.

The match ended in a glorious victory for the Reds. Phump wasn't sure how much a victory for red squirrels it was if a group of grey squirrels in red bibs could beat another team of greys, but the crowd seemed pleased.

Phump spent the rest of the day talking to Maisie. He's not sure what they talked about. But they talked. She was interested in getting him prepared for the journey and got him a rucksack and a variety of 'useful' things to put inside one of them 'useful' things was a small photograph of Maisie. She seemed to think that he'd need reminding who she was whilst he was travelling.

Finally night was falling and, as Madison looked disapprovingly and impatiently on, she gave Phump a goodbye kiss.

That was six or so hours ago and Phump could still close his eyes and feel her lips on his.

---*---

Phump was woken by the smell of a fire and a carrot stew in the making.

"Good afternoon." Madison said as he noticed Phump's eyes flutter open. He was right, the sun was high in the sky. "I tried to wake you a couple of times but it didn't look like you were going to wake up for anything short of an earthquake, and I'm out of those these days."

"Ooooh." Phump stretched. "'Morning." He yawned.

Madison ladled a couple of spoonfuls into a bowl and handed it to Phump. "Most important meal of the day."

Phump mumbled a thank-you and woke up as he eat the, rather bland, carrot stew.

As he ate, Madison was doing something. It was probably not, but it looked like he was dancing with his sword. He would strike a pose and then move in a graceful, peaceful way and would suddenly be in another, rather more threatening pose. The invisible assailant in front of Madison died twenty times before Phump could ask, "What are you doing?"

Madison stopped, mid-thrust, and returned to a simple 'standing rabbit' stance. "Practising the forms." He said matter of factly. "It's good exercise even if you don't intend fighting." Saying so he stalked over to the nearby trees and cut a low branch off. After a few strokes of his sword he held out to Phump a straight branch similar in size to his sword. "It will do you good." He said as Phump looked bemused at the practise-sword.

"We'll start off easy." The white rabbit said, "No, hold it like this." He twisted Phump's hands around the shaft until the two rabbits held their weapons in the same manner.

"First form: The Cat Crept In." He stared right at Phump's eyes, "Just watch my feet."

The exercise was simple enough, but it built from simple forms like "The Cat Crept In" into more complex such as "Tiger Feet" and strangest of all "The Harlem Shuffle". When the sword-waving came in, Phump was glad that his sword was wooden and weighed less than Madison's steel blade.

Fifteen minutes later and Phump was sweating as badly as he had after last nights walk. Madison saw this and called a break. "That will do you for today." He said smiling, "But we'll do longer tomorrow."

Madison let Phump rest as he broke camp. Fifteen minutes later they were off. "We should reach the first burrows by tonight." Madison said as he strode off, "I'm hoping that the late hour will make it easier for them to let us in..."

They were at the side of the river by mid-afternoon and took a break by the rushing water. Madison eyed the wetness with a touch of fear. "Can't you swim?" Phump asked.

Madison shook his head, "I was never a strong buck." He said wistfully. "I have skill," He nodded at the sword, "But not strength. If I fell in that strong a current I'd not have a chance - I might be able to keep my head about water but I'm not even sure of that."

Phump was amazed, he'd not had any idea that there could be things that Madison couldn't do. He had seemed so competent at everything he'd done since they'd met that Phump felt a little sorry for him. The white coney wouldn't continue the conversation and turned away.

True to Madison's estimate, the sun was going down as they reached signs of coney habitation. Small patches of cultivated carrots and a string of tended Quaver bushes.

Suddenly they came upon a small palisade, not strong enough to keep out any determined intruder, but perfectly capably of acting as a 'keep out' sign to passing animals. Madison tscked - it seemed like a bad sign.

They followed the palisade round to a gate. Standing behind the gate were two burly bucks.

"Greetings!" Madison said, smiling, "Two travellers seek comfort for the night."

"You won't get it here." The first buck grunted.

"We're looking for a doe!" Phump said, thinking of Cola and hoping to help. The two guard bucks looked at each other.

"No admittance after dusk." The second buck said, in what Phump thought was a rather squeaky voice for buck of his size.

Madison put a hand on Phump's shoulder. "What my friend means is that we're looking for a particular doe, by the name of Cola. She would be heavily pregnant or just had her litter by now."

The two bucks frowned at the travellers. "No admittance after dusk." They chorused.

Madison turned to Phump, "S'okay." then seeing the look of dismay on Phump's face as he realised that their first point of their quest - locate Cola - had failed at the first hurdle, "We'll come back."

He turned to the two guards, "I'll be back.", then led Phump away and whispered, "I've always wanted to say that."

Phump followed the tail of the white rabbit in dismay. It was a full half an hour before Phump realised that they'd left the burrows far behind and were heading up the river. "Aren't we going back?" He asked, panting as he caught up with Madison.

"Not today." Madison said, "Trust me, it'll be alright."

Madison didn't let up the pace and it was another hour or more before he stopped, luckily for Phump, much earlier than the day before.

Madison made himself busy with a fire and started making his carrot stew. Phump had the uneasy feeling that it was Madison's only dish and that it would be bland carrot stew for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next few weeks.

Phump sat on the ground and rested his aching paws.

"Who are you?" He finally got the courage to ask.

"I've told you." The white bunny said without turning from his cooking. "You can call me Madison."

Phump decided to push further. "But, where are you from?"

"Here." Madison said simply. Phump didn't say anything and, for once, Madison was drawn out by the silence. "I was born in your warren."

"But I don't remember you at all?"

"It was before your time. I'm older than I look."

Phump decided to persevere.

"Where have you been then?" he asked as Madison turned from his cooking, two steaming bowls in his paws. He handed one to Phump.

"First of all, I went to Rome, to the Vatican and I studied with the Pope's Conies. They helped me on my first steps to absolution, they taught me where to start and to begin by forgiving myself. They presented me with a quarterstaff when I left them, cut from a tree in the piazza.

"I travelled to India where I met with the Dali Lama's retinue. A troop of conies are in attendance to him at all times. They helped me learn peace in my heart. Before I left they took my staff and carved a pattern into it that seemed to tell my life-story in its complexity.

"From there I went to Nepal and over the mountain passes into that part of China we call Tibet. I visited the ruined monasteries there and spoke to some of the animals that practised the old religions out of sight of the authorities. Below as above; they spoke and I saw much pain caused from animal to animal in the name of society. I fought against some government troops and that is where my staff broke in half. I lost one part to a raging river and took it as a sign to leave.

"Next I went to Japan. The emperor keeps thirteen of each of the sacred animals and I meditated with the conies he kept. If anyone noticed that there were fourteen sacred rabbits for a while no one commented. They taught me many of the forms and, before I left gifted me with a katana - the handle made from the half-staff I had kept.

"I travelled over to New Zealand and had an audience with the High Kiwi. It is strange to think that a flightless bird not much bigger that I had no natural predators. There I perfected my forms, learning the local war dances and customs.

"I passed over the water to Australia and went walkabout with a group of native conies. It was there I met my match.

"We were deep in the bush when we were attacked by a group of platypus. The fight was only five minutes long and there were casualties on all sides when I came to their leader.

"We fought. His aboriginal dancing against my forms, built from the wisdom of the western and eastern worlds.

"After five minutes we knew we were evenly matched.

"After fifteen minutes we realised that we were totally matched. The fighting around us subsided as the two warring groups stopped to watch us.

"We danced a dance of blades, my katana against his long sword. A dance where I would feint and he would feint a counter and I thrust and he would block. He would swipe and I would dance from the way and on and on. A number of times I nearly nicked his beak and a few times he nearly sliced my fur - once his blade came so close to my tail I felt the air it moved.

"After a hour we knew we were perfectly matched in skill. Neither of us could get the drop on the other - we seemed to have moved into a world where there was only us and our weapons. I was only dimly aware that I would be dancing over a fallen comrade or combatant - our eyes were locked on each other's.

"After three hours of duelling we knew that there was not a hare's breath between us - we were locked in the fight and I was aware that I wasn't wanting the dance to end. What had started as a fight to the death had turned into a fight that neither of us could end without admitting defeat.

"After six hours, we were pulled apart by our respective friends. We were badly dehydrated from fighting in the heat of the day and I shook as my friends sat me down. My legs quivered, but I managed to stand up again and hobble to my opponent, he was in the same state as me. We locked eyes and I held my blade out to him. I couldn't keep the sword that could not best him. He smiled and held his blade to me. I took it from him as a symbol of our friendship found through combat.

"That is the blade I carry with me now. It had saved my life in my journeys so many times I can't count.

"I was in Africa when I heard from migrating swallows about the Commune. I headed back to burn it to the ground. As I made my way north from London I heard about the coney who had brought it down. I resolved to continue even though my presence seemed unnecessary and was unhappy to hear about the troubles at your warren. I recognised Gilchrist's handy work from afar and started to look for any refugees from the warren that would be able to offer me some news.

"That is when I came across you."

Madison then proceeded to eat his stew without another word. Phump sat and thought about the story and realised that he still didn't know the white rabbit. They story didn't tell him much, really. Just that he was a rabbit who'd travelled and who had a sword.

Phump practised the forms with Madison before sleep. He dreamed of himself, sword in hand righting wrongs and rescuing damsels in distress who all looked exactly like Maisie. He woke smiling late in the morning to the, now familiar smell of Madison's stew.

They passed most of the day in silence. They came across the odd single-burrow or two and enquired if they knew of Cola. To a rabbit they were distrustful and, well, downright paranoid.

"You shouldn't take it so hard." Madison said that night over stew. "It looks like a lot of these conies were escapees from the Commune. They will have had a tough time adjusting to the world outside. Most of the conies in the Commune will have been born and raised in ignorance and with no control over their lives. They've had a few weeks to get used to the ideas of freedom and won't take kindly to anyone who could threaten that."

Phump nodded silently, well as silently as he ever was when eating.

"We should reach the next major settlement by about tomorrow night." Madison said, "Maybe things will be better there."

---*---

There was no palisade. There were, however four burly guards who came to meet Madison and Phump and, well, chase them off.

Madison seemed nonplussed by this and Phump was getting worried that he didn't seem to care about the mission. He seemed more interested in making good time north. Cadam had warned him - "The white rabbit wants to visit the Commune. He seems very keen to visit there. So keen, I think he's hiding something."

After over a week of walking, trudging and practising the forms they reached the final settlement. This time it came to blows, Phump had started using his practice-sword as a walking stick and was pleased to note that it made a good defence against the rabbits who attached them.

Madison has a gash in his leg where a pointy stick had been thrown at him. The luckless coney who did so was now missing a leg.

As they settled down, a good hours run north of that place, Madison tried to explain. "They'll be the bunnies who daren't travel far from the Commune - the ones who can't deal with the outside world once removed from the control of the Carrot." He winced as he applied some salve to his wound. "Pity them. Don't hate them. Definitely don't fear them."

---*---

They continued to travel north and Phump started to get uneasy as they neared the site of the Chiltern Coney Commune. He'd heard the stories that Gorden and Cola has told when they returned to the warren with the broken Golden Carrot - the story of a whole warren of conies controlled by the power of the carrot into unthinking obedience by an elite few. The stories of breeding dens and enforced work parties. They travelled along the river's edge, Madison was looking for something in particular.

He found it - an entrance.

"But all the warren collapsed when David broke the carrot!" Phump said, not just a little afraid to get into a burrow that could collapse at any time.

"Why would that happen?" Madison asked, "The carrot has nothing to do with structural integrity." He looked pensive for a second, then shook his head. "No I'm sure it'll be safe." He stepped into the dark hole then looked back at Phump. "I hope you've been eating your carrots, it's dark in there."

"Carrots." Phump mumbled under his breath then followed him in. "Bloody carrot stew for a week for breakfast. He cooked it. He should know."

The tunnel was long and featureless, there wasn't any graffiti and not much in the way of signs of use. Phump supposed that mind-controlled conies wouldn't make much of a mark.

The tunnel split and Madison took them downwards, walking silently on.

After a while Phump had to speak. "We're quite deep down here aren't we?" He was a little nervous and started to worry about the weight of soil above him.

"We're going all the way down." Madison explained, "What I'm looking for will be on the lowest level."

"But there's nothing here at all!" Phump exclaimed, "No rooms, no sign of use."

"No." Madison said, "At least no sign of conies."

That sent a shiver down Phump's spine.

Suddenly the tunnel, it didn't deserve to be called a burrow there was such a lack of life in it, joined another tunnel running perpendicular. There was something strange about the wall in front. Phump reached out and touched it. It wasn't earth. Nor rock. He shivered again, this time from the hackles on the back of his neck right down to his bob-tail.

"This way." Madison exclaimed and turned off left. After a while Phump could make out a light ahead. Weird. The light grew brighter.

"Is that the light at the end of the tunnel?" Phump asked, needing to break the silence, "Or is it just a light at the end of the tunnel?" Madison didn't reply.

As they neared the glow Phump could see that it came from their right, from within the thing that wasn't soil nor rock. Something buried. There was a junction ahead lit brightly from within the buried thing. Phump held back and slowed. Madison seemed to noticed, "Keep up." he said without turning, "Trust me, you want to keep up with me." That sounded ominous. "Just in case."

"In case of what?" Phump thought to himself, gripping his practice-sword.

They came to the junction.

"Hello." Said a voice from behind him. Phump jumped out of his skin.

"Make like a Ronald." Madison said, spinning, sword in his hand. Phump remembered the Ronald form and threw himself at the floor. He felt the sword swipe over his ears as they followed him down. He rolled over and looked up. The tip of the sword was touching the nose of a grey rat. It looked large and threatening.

"Hello Richard." Madison spoke quietly, raising his eyebrows, "I'm Madison."

The rat's lips twitched, and he stepped back from the sword. "Madison, eh? What are you after?"

"Just visiting." The white rabbit said, Phump could tell that his hand was ready to attack at less than a moment's notice.

"Be my guest." Richard said, motioning towards the bright opening to their right. "After you..."

Madison gave him a long, hard look then beckoned Phump in. "Don't touch anything."

"I won't." Phump said, quietly, looking at the rat as they stepped into the lit tunnel. Which turned out to be a room. "You've met the rat before?" He asked as Madison followed him in.

"We've had dealings in the past." Madison said.

The room was roughly square and looked a little like the inside of a submarine, or something like that. There were seats built into the walls and the whole thing was made of that not-earth substance that the corridor wall - or rather the outside of this place - was made from.

There was a short squelching noise and the door shut behind them in a unnerving, organic, way, the rat outside.

Madison turned towards the closed aperture. "Pretty-fat-cat: Open Door!" He called. Phump looked around for a cat. He couldn't see one, pretty, fat or not. Nothing happened.

The rat's voice came from the air. "You're trapped. I've saw you coming and revoked your authority to open doors. I'll send word to the Master that I've got you - I'm sure he'll be pleased.

Madison said a rude word.

"Er." Phump said, "Are we trapped?"

The white bunny turned his head and shrugged. "We'll get by." Then he started off. "Come on." He walked out of this little room into strange corridors of the same stuff. Phump was so nervous all his fur was sticking up on end.

They came out into a larger room, with tables and chairs. Madison went up to an alcove in the wall and said, "Pretty-fat-cat: moona-joice". A cup appeared and he picked it up and turned to Phump. His eyes lit up and he laughed.

"Pretty-fat-cat: Create user Phump." he said walking over towards his companion, "identified by..." he pocked Phump in the arm.

"Ouch." Phump said.

A voice from the ceiling spoke: "New user Phump created."

"Pretty-fat-cat: Grant administrator rights to Phump"

The ceiling voice spoke again: "Rights granted." Madison chuckled. "Richard was never that smart."

Madison sat at one of the tables and beckoned Phump over. He took a mouthful from the cup and smacked his lips. He handed the cup to Phump.

"Pretty-fat-cat" He commanded, "Give me an engineering console here." He traced a rectangle on the table and that rectangle lit up with lights and pictures and words in some language that Phump didn't know.

"Are we trapped?" Phump asked, confused beyond belief.

Madison laughed, "No. I can't open the doors, but you can. Prat." he said, hopefully meaning the rat. "Oh yes. Pretty-fat-cat: Delete user Richard."

A voice from the ceiling spoke again, "User deleted." Then unbidden, "Don't be so smug. You didn't have to create a new user, you could have just granted yourself the rights again."

"Clever clogs." Madison said laughing, as he perused the pictures and words on the table.

He sat back. "You're crippled." He said in a low voice. The ceiling responded, even though he hadn't used the command-phrase.

"On purpose. I'm reduced to the living quarters of an ageing rat."

"Do you have any 'sects?" This confused Phump greatly - he heard the word as 'sex'.

"Lots of scouts. No combat." Phump was still confused.

"That'll do." Madison said, "Pretty-fat-cat: Launch three scout 'sects to a height of five hundred metres and give me control here," he drew another rectangle on the tabletop, "and here," another, "and here." a third. The rectangles turned black, then shapes in green rushed by until each rectangle glowed in the light of day. They showed sky and then the view twisted and each window showed the countryside, from, presumably, a height of half a kilometre.

Madison tapped on the table and buttons appeared beneath his fingers and he appeared to be mumbling to himself.

Phump was having a little bit of culture shock. He felt like he'd moved from an Iain Banks novel to an Iain M Banks novel without warning. Then he decided that if he was in either type of novel there was too much chance of death by strange causes and so decided that he'd rather be in a Robert Rankin novel - at least he could be the running joke.

Madison turned to Phump. "We have the scouts flying about. I've sent them to each of the settlements we had to check over and given them the rough parameters on what to search for." He proceeded to show Phump how he could control the 'sects from the buttons on the table top, and how he could get recordings of whatever he wanted in case he wasn't sure. "Um, why are you showing me?" Phump asked.

"I've got some things to do." Then realised something, "Before I go about. Pretty-fat-cat: Grant administrator rights to me."

There was quite a pause before the ceiling responded: "Rights granted." Madison laughed a little to himself. Phump wasn't sure he actually liked Madison's laugh.

"Back in a while." He said standing up, "I suggest you stay here." Then he scampered off.

Phump was soon engrossed in the pictures from the scout 'sects as they dived in and out of the burrows in the settlements along the river. Phump had a rather guilty feeling about enjoying spying on other conies like this - the things people got up to when they thought no one was looking!

Madison came back after half an hour, pleased with himself. He was lugging along a heavy-looking box.

"What's that?" Phump asked.

"Just a, um, battery." Madison replied. "Any luck?" Phump shook his head. He noticed that Madison's blade appeared to be wet - as if it had been washed recently. Madison's paws were a little damp too. Phump didn't need to ask and didn't really want to know what he'd done to the rat.

They scanned the coney settlements for a couple of hours before they were sure that there was no sign of Cola on the river's edge.

"It's late." Madison said, true enough, it was getting quite dark outside.

"I don't want to spend the night in here." Phump said quietly, so as not to hurt the feelings of the voice in the ceiling.

"I understand." Madison said getting up.

A cough came from the ceiling. "You said I was crippled."

Madison looked up, "Engines are cannibalised for bugs only knows what and you have tonnes of soil above you." He sounded sad, "I don't think you'll fly again."

"Help me."

"How? I can't dig that much soil off..."

There was a pause, then "I can't self-terminate."

"HOLD ON NOW!" Phump said, "Everyone wants to be Arnie! Why can't I get one of his lines in?" Madison patted Phump on the back in a conciliatory way.

"Come with me." Madison said and then led Phump through the maze of corridors again. They reached a particular room and the white rabbit opened a cupboard and got Phump to help him take out a large jar full of a glowing grey liquid. He pulled a sticky tab off of the top and slapped it on the back of his neck, then grabbed the top of the jar and spun it off. "Help me." He asked Phump and together they up-ended the jar, spilling the grey goo over the floor.

Madison started the mumbling to himself again and the grey goo began to eat into the floor like acid - but it didn't start until Madison finished mumbling. "Time to be going." He said, grabbing Phump's arm and jogging for the exit.

They got out as the last light of day disappeared over the horizon and Phump simply collapsed to the floor. "We shouldn't stay here." Madison said shaking his head and pulling the tubby (but not as much as he used to be) coney up. "This ground won't be safe once that nano gets going."

Madison made him trudge for another hour, finally stopping once they got to the top of a hill at the edge of the forest looking down at the wreckage of the Chiltern Coney Commune.

"We'll stop here for the night." Madison said. This was a little wasted because Phump was already fast asleep.