Fersum Gorden

(With Apologies...)

Eye luked p 2 th sky. Eye cood C th chayp f Hari Th Hork srinkin n th distuns.

T woz ay brite day, gluriass sunzhyn end volloptwo us clowdz - Eye larffed 2 misel - th clowdz luked leyek phlupheie hoomunz.

Eye showldurd mi starph end tuk stok f mi cityouashunn. Heier Eye woz dumtd n th middul f know weear, weel n th middul f ay feeled, n ay Brer-knows-wheier paat f th whirled. ay paat wair, s faa s Eye knew, nobunnie add bean bee four. Eye luked foree sum landmarx - Eye cood C th il n th distuns tht Plessey wuntud 2 hed fore. Eye tuk ay dip breff nd, th il n mi sites, trampd ff ovur th feeled.

Th kropp woz neer 2 Hed-hite owne mee end Eye felld leyek ay reel xplurur foreging mi waa fru ungnone terrytree.

Lakkin enee ovur stymyoulashun, mi mynd wndered s Eye wulket. Hou wurr th ovurs 2 git akroz? Eye woz shore Plessey cood wissad sumfin p. Butt, zen aging, Eyed nevur Cn hymn du mutch moor van flowt. Th feeled beegun 2 tayk on ay fammillyur luk end T woz ay phew minits bee four Eye cood wurck owt wot woz fammillyur. Zen T camee 2 mee - theerwurr bunnie-trax! Theerwurr rabizz heer! Maabee lon lossed cusyns r ay furul tryb! Mi rite pa klenchd t mi starph, mi hart gaynin curridge phrowm th majikul woud.

Eye bownsed p end doun ay phew taimz, spynin rownd, luckin n difurunt dairecshuns. Eye cawt sum moovmeant 2 mi lepht neer ay cops end paddyied cairphilly twowurds t.

Eye hopd owt f th hed-hi grane end lnded owne pour-hi graas. Eye showtid "Hullo!".

Butt theer woz no-one theire.

Theer woz ay challo buro end ay taybul wiv ay cupple f bows, f wot luked leyek Carut stue.

Eye slyd mi starph phrowm mi showdur end paddyied gentlee 2 th taybul. Th bows wurr styl hut.

"Hullo!" Eye cullud aging, "Wheer are you?" Eye suddenly reelised Eye mussed bee scaarin vem. Thai mussed haff Cn mee cummin fru th feeled end frone evryfin doun end skaturd. Eye siied. Eye add bean reelly luckin foreward 2 meeatin saffayg cusyns.

Butt thai woodent bee totuly saffayg - thai ate Carut stue!

"Eyeff chust comee 2 vizzit!" Eye sed, stewpidley - Eye diddunt no hou 2 karm doun ay skaired bunnie r too.

Zen mi eemageenashun slyd phrowm forf 2 ovurdrive - Wot if thai wurr ay pear f inrayged, mannick, meerdurus owtcarsts? Wot if Eye add chust tripted in2 th lare f feeves end owtloars? Wot f thys wurr ay trappe maid by fockses sly-er van Sly?

"Wyre not gowing back!" Camee ay voyce phrowm beehyned mee. "Nevur!" Sed anuvver voyce.

Eye spunnn rownd 2 fayse too conys bairin charp poyntid styx. Mi mynd stopud wndering s Eye gaysed t th shaap inds s th rabizz egged twowurds mee.

"Yoo kun gow end tel yorr marsturs tht wyre phree f vem." Th neerest wun sed 2 mee s hyz styck tutched mi jest.

"Tel yorr leaders tht wee donet kneed vem!" Th ovur rabut sed.

My starph woz n phrunt f mee. Haarf-hartedly helled n wun hnd. Eye woodent bee abull 2 git ay deesent grarsep end swyn T bee four thai spitud mee. Eneewaa, Eye diddunt wonnt 2 Hert ay rabut. Eevun sutch pozibul conicidal owtloars s veese.

"Eye donet no wot ure tulkin abowt?" Eye garsed owt s th styx starttud 2 prik mi scyn. "Eyem phrowm akroz th Em-Waa. Eyem owne ay kwest."

"No rabizz liff tht faa phrowm th Commyouwn." Th fursed wun sed, skwintin hyz iis t mee.

Commyouwn?

"Eye doo." Eye sed, thai add 2 bee abull 2 C reason. "Eyem Gorden. Eyem owne ay kwest foree th Heid Buk."

Th rabizz iid eetch ovur, th seckund wun ternt hyz Heid 2 th sighed. "Yoo haff ay Heid Buk?" Eye nodid, "Not ay comitey?"

"What's ay comitey?" Eye arsed. "S tht ay kyned f cabudge."

"Yes!" sed th fursed rabut larfin. "T s." Hei dropt th poynt f hyz styck 2 th flur. "Eye fink wee kun trussed hymn, Rod."

Th secund rabut, preezemubbly Rod, kepped hyz styck poynting n mee foree ay pheiw moor secunds thein, skcolin, thru th styck beehyned hymn n disgussed. "Eye howp yore rite Rob." Zen Hei gayv ay chryl wissel.

Owt f th cops camee moor rabizz! Ovur fief rabizz chuvulled owt - too does, ay pheiw chilledrun end phree owd end greyyin Bux - thai wurr owdur thn th Heid Bx faver!

Rob end Rod ternt 2 th ovurs "Dis s gorden. Hei's comee phrowm ovur th Em-waa."

"Hei's knot phrowm th Commyouwn." Rod sed.

1 f th chilldrun camee p 2 mee

"Wurr yoo bourn ay phree rabut two? mi Mumi sez Eye woz, butt Eyeff nevur Cn an adult who woz bourn phree mi mumi wosunt shei woz un indented surffur owne th fud lynez, Eye donet wonnt 2 bee an indendenedned eneething cos Eye leyek liffin heier wiv mi frenz . Eyeff gowt ay mowse s ay frend! Mumi saz shei diddunt haff enee frenz whein shei woz yun, chust comrayds." Bee four th yunstur cood leat mee haff hyz intyre lyffstorey ay doe (preezemubbly hyz movur) caim p end grabt hymn bi th chowdurs end usshured hymn awaa.

"Pleaz eckscuze liddul Milton," Shei sed smylin, "Hei'd nevur Cn ay strayngyr bee four. Weel not ay friendly wun." Shei strouckt sum fur owne heir heid awaa phrowm heir eyes. "Wood yoo leyek sum stue? Wee've gowt spair 2 dai." Shei sowndid prowd. Thai add spair fud foree wunce. Eye nodid.

"Eyed luv 2."

Shei shoued mee 2 th taybul end paulud ay smawl log p witch Eye cood st on.

"Heire," Shei sed s shei poot ay smul bol f stemin hut carut stue n phrunt f mee.

"Mi fafrit." Eye towld Heir, snivin t th bol "Smelz onedurfull!"

Shei paulud heir bol p end wee chated.

"Wee, ah, lepht, th Commyouwn too yeers ugu. Wee'd beecomee disallushunned wiv owe leedurs end thiir plannes fore Th Glury F Connies Effrywair. Theiir plannes chust Cmed 2 make us haf 2 wurck haadur end haadur end wee sawe knno benyfizz." Shei shuk heir heid - T Cmed ay paynful tyme fore heir. Eye put mi pa owne heirs. "Itz okai - Eyeff noffin 2 du wiv dis Commute f yores. End Eyeull du mi absoloot besed 2 affoyd T nou." Shei smyuld. Heir nayme woz Elsa.. Th rabut n mee tuk ovur end wee chatd end chatd.

Eye suddunley reelised tht tyme woz gettin owne end Eye woz no neerer Plessey, David end Cola. Elsa mussed haff Cn th sudun pannick n mi iis.

"Mussed yoo gow?" Shei arsed. Th rabbut n mee stured, butt Eye kwelled it. Eye fort f Cola poynting t th words n heir buks, reedin vem owt 2 mee. Eye reelised Eye mussed bee gowing.

Eye nodud. "Eye haff frenz hoo R dee-pendin pon mee. Thai'll git n trubbul if Eyem not theire.." Eye cood chust C David, ay dai withowt mi karming inflewance! Hoo nos wot trix hei'd git p 2...

"MUMI!" T woz Milton "LUK! EYEFF FARND AY CARUT!" - end so Hei add. S Elsa delled wiv heir son Eye stud p end leened owne mi starph. Eye stretched end nodud ay gowodbye 2 th buzy movur, zen starttud 2 wawk awaa.

One f th fursed to rabuts cayme ovur.

"Gorden," Hei sed, "My brovur end Eye wish 2 wawn yoo abowt th Commyouwn. Thai donet leyek strayngurs - thai eitheir, remof vem. Permenantley, if yoo git mi drivt. R thai mayck yoo paat f th Commyouwn. Witch is pozubbly wurs. Itz abowt free r for daiz jurnee tht waa." Hei sed poynting n th dai-recshun Eye woz gowing. Eye smyld ay grym smyl.

"Eye tayk yorr warnings 2 hart," Eye sed, "Vank you. Eye mussed gow knou. mi frenz kneed mee."

Hei nodud. "Gud luk, Gorden" Wee shuk pause end Eye starttud ff.

Eye made gowod time, ai fare steddie padin. Butt th dai woz drorin 2 ay klothse end theier woz no site f th ovurs. Eye mofd closur 2 th trees end starttud 2 luk foree ay soffed spott 2 spenned th nite.

By th timee nite fel Eye woz cullud p n ay wurm pail f leefes t th bass f ay whyd tre.

Eye woz chust dropin ff whein sumfin ht th leefes neer mi Heid. Eye snuguled p titer.

A pheiw secunds laytur sumfin ht th leffees owne th ovur sigheid f mee end rold end bownsed ff mi noss - T woz n a-kurn. Trussed mi luck 2 tri 2 sleip undur ay tre tht woz mowltin. Noffin ells hapund end Eye woz neerly gowne whein anovur a-kurn fel ontwo mi noss.

"Owch. Tht hert, Tre." Eye sed, "Fained sumwun ells 2 drop yoo nuzz onn."

2 mi serpriz th tre larffed t mee end anovur a-kurn hh mi Heid.

Eye satt p end luked p - T woz th bat, frowin a-kurns t mee!

"Nora, Yore maad!" Eye showtid t Heir. Shei larffed wunce moor.

"HeiHeihHeiHeiHei, yoo wayt 2 C hou mad Eye am whein Eye faind hoo kilt mi beluvid!"

"Whart?"

"My beluvid - th Heidgiepig whoose starph yoo karie. Somewun kilt hymn yoo no." Eye nodid. Shei continewed "Nd Eyem owt foree riveng.." Shei thru anovur acorn t mee, Eye doged t.

"Whut's t 2 du wiv mee?" Eye arsed, playntifly, "Eye onlee meet hymn wunce."

"Butt," shei ficksed mee wiv heir iis "Yoo new Hei woz ded! Th Heid Buk hasuned releesed th nus yeit.

"Nd," Shei sed - Eye felld ay shifur pas doun mi spyn - "Yoo du haff hyz starph.." Eye clowsd mi eyes end shei tuk T s ay gowlden oppurtoonittie end ht mee skwure owne th noss wiv anovur a-kurn. Eye felld anovur a-kurn ht mee, end anovur. Eye gowt p end ternt in2 th foreest end starttud runin phrowm heir. Tht woz stooped. Shei's ay fliing-creetaur hoo kun C n th darck. Eyem ay hopin creetaur hoo karned. T dussned matur hou meenee caruts Eyeff eetun Eye styl cuned tel th diverunse betweeen ay shado end ay rut. N fax 2 pruv t Eye jumpt ovur ay shado end zen tripted ovur ay rut.

Th lites wened owt. Compleetley.