In Which Our Heroes Lose Their Jobs

Concerned, David bent down to help him up.

By the time Gorden had dusted himself down, the hedgehog had gone.

"What a strange fellow" David said to Gorden. "I don't think he was all there, you know"

"We'd better hurry up," said Gorden, "We don't want to be late for work or we might get whipped."

"I should be so lucky." David sung to himself.

"You know," Gorden said, as they walked along, "I'm pretty sure that Mashed Potatoes aren't supposed to grow on trees."

"Bushes."

"What?"

"Bushes, Gord, bushes." David smiled up at him. "I'm not sure that either you or I would want, or be able to pick things from trees." The gerbil pointed at some ground foliage. "It's a matter of size, mate. Bushes grow near the ground," He then pointed at a nearby larch, "Whereas things on trees grow way up there." His digit rose, Gorden's eyes followed where he pointed and the rabbit nearly did an imitation of an alleged Falklands Penguin. "Careful there Gord, don't fall over!"

"Ok then," Gorden said feeling a little like he was back at school, "Bush."

David looked at his friend, "Have you ever tried to climb a tree?" He had a strange far-away smile on his face.

"Not really." Gorden said, then quickly: "No!" his head shook from side to side rather quickly, "No, I'm not going up one of those things, Dave."

"S'alright, Gord." Dave smiled back at him, "Not too keen on heights meself."

"So," Gordon returned to his point, "Mashed Potatoes growing on bushes."

"You really didn't pay much attention in history lessons did you?"

"There were history lessons?"

"Ah, yes, let me remember, yes, the history teacher was a buck. You never seemed to turn up for lessons taught by blokes."

"Could be," Gorden said with a sly smile on his face, "Could be."

"You know," David said walking the long way round a doggy-doo on the ground, "I never realised I'd end up as your substitute teacher."

"Me neither."

"You know," David said, "I look pretty tall, but my heels are high."

Gorden stopped and looks at his friend's paws. "No they're not."

Shaking his head David continued, "Well, Gord." He explained, "Back in pre-historic times, like maybe twenty or thirty years ago."

"That's a long time ago."

"Stop interrupting, Gord." David fixed him with a hard stare, Gorden knew better than to hassle David if he used The Stare. "There were three brothers who were kicked out of their warren."

"What did they do to get kicked out?" Gorden asked without thinking. David stared at Gorden and the rabbit immediately shut his lips up very tightly.

"The two elder brothers, Algernon and Barclay took their girlfriends, but the third brother Clarendon was too young for love."

"Isn't it strange how their names begin with A and B and C." Gorden interjected.

"Thank you for the observation by learned friend, but that still counts as an interruption."

"Sorry."

"You will be." David coughed then continued, "It started to raid and the brothers looked for somewhere to shelter from the storm."

"And their girlfriends." Gorden added, "They wouldn't have left them out in the storm would they?"

"They would have if they had kept interrupting."

"Sorry."

"The brothers," David continued, quickly adding "and their girlfriends," before Gorden could complain, "came across a small abandoned burrow which they decided to weather the storm out in."

"Sensible."

Cough. "Before they went inside, however they had to decide what to do with their luggage."

"That's not a nice thing to call the girls, OUCH!" Gorden felt a sharp pain in his ankle.

"Algernon had a packet of Ready Salted crisps and he vowed to take them into the burrow for them all to feast on. Barclay had a Mars Bar and he decided to hide it on top of some nearby rocks, but Clarendon had a pack of mashed potato, and he decided to bury it to keep it safe from the storm."

"Sensible boy." Gorden said, then seeing David's face made a zipping motion over his lips.

"The storm lasted three days and nights and finally, when the brothers, and their girlfriends came out into the bright spring sunlight, the memory of Algernon's crisps has faded in their memory. They searched high and low for Barclay's Mars Bar but it had been rained away. Finally they went to where Clarendon had buried his pack of Mashed Potato and they were surprised to see a small bush growing, which appeared to have miniature packets of Mashed Potato hanging from the branches."

"Wo-Ouch!" Gorden would have said but for a sharp gerbil-kick.

"So the brothers founded a new warren and found that they could grow most anything in the fertile soil."

"Now I understand."

"It's possible," David added, "That this is just a parable."

"No." Gorden said with conviction, "There were three of them."

Luckily they were at the boundaries of the Mashed Potato field.

"You're late!" shouted Bertram the badger, the foreman. "That's the third time this week!" Gorden and David shrank back at his loud voice. "Right," the foreman said "That's it!"...

("Oh good" thought David, a gleam in his eye, thinking of the Foreman's previous threat of a whipping)

"You're fired!"

"You can't do that!" Gorden cried, David just whimpered, his hopes dashed.

"Go to the office and collect your cards." The badger said, un-wavering," I want you two out of here immediately."

Dejected and disappointed (respectively) Gorden and David left the field and tramped towards the office.