In Which Gorden Meets the Head Buck

"You're late, Gorden." The receptionist-rabbit said.

Gorden shook his head and bent down and whispered to David "Not her too! At least she can't sack us!".

"I'm here to see the Head Buck." Gorden announced. "Please tell him that we are here."

"He only wants to see *you*," the doe replied, "Your 'friends' will have to wait out here."

Fine by me," David said, "He's the head of your species, not mine."

Plessey floated along and dropped slowly onto the edge of the bench. David jumped up and perched himself next to the wizard.

As Gorden turned the handle, David gave him a thumbs-up sign and turned to Plessey.

"Did I ever tell you how I met Gorden?" He began...

Gorden stepped into a luxurious room, the floor was wooden and bookshelves and pictures aligned the walls. He was particularly taken with the one entitled "Playbuck Playdoe of the Month. August 1982".

"Gorden!" The Head Buck said, "Stop drooling! It's your great-great-great-grandmother you know!" Gorden's mouth went dry.

"Well, " he thought to himself "I *am* a rabbit.."

"Yes Sir!" He said, coming round to face his ruler. The Head Buck was a large beast, no-one would call him pretty, but then again no-one would call him ugly either. not to his face anyway, or at least not more than once to his face. It's a tough job running a warren of rebeillious and licentious conies and the priviledges are few, apart from getting the first bite of any carrot he wanted..

"Gorden, it has come to my attention that you are Questing for the Golden Carrot." The buck began "A matter of such import means that I should be involved and consulted on this matter." He stood up and faced Gorden from half an inch away "And I *SHOULD* have been involved and consulted on this matter." Gorden stepped back, eyes wide.

"Your inconsideration of the heirarchy of the warren," the buck continued, walking away from Gorden, "can be overlooked. " He clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace up and down.

"However, I do require to be kept up-to-date with all your findings, and I *must* be consulted at each stage."

Gorden nodded at him.

"Yes, yes, yes, sir." Gorden hated himself for being so subservient. "I will sir, anything sir!"

"Alright Gorden. I assume you understand the implications of your quest?"

"Ahh?"

"You *do* know the legend of the Golden Carrot, don't you? They teach it in school, or at least did in my day."

"Ah," Gorden squirmed a bit, "I, ah, didn't get to school much.."

The Head Buck stared hard and long at Gorden before continuing. Gorden remembered being caught truant a number of times.

"I thought I'd recognised you. Hum."

Misundertanding the comment for an order Gorden pursed his lips and was about to launch into "The Flight of the Valkyries" when the Head Buck began to speak again.

"You must read the legend. I'll get you my copy." The buck turned and began to search through the book shelves. "Dammit! " He said, startling Gorden "I loaned it to the school. Gorden," he said turning to our hero, "You will need to go to school and ask the teacher if you can borrow my book back. Well, what are you waiting for?"

"Well It's late sir, school will have closed."

"Hum." The buck said, "Then you'll have to go in the morning. Now go and get some sleep.

Gorden backed out,

"Yes Sir, Thank you Sir."

Outside David was regaling Plessey with stories of Gorden and he.

"So I said 'That's what they all say!'" He finished, laughingly pleased with himself.

"Hohoho" Plessey chortled, "You are a real joker arn't you? I think I'll call you Joker from now on."

"Is that it?" Said David, "People will be singing about 'Joker, Gorden and Plessey and the Golden Carrot'?"

"Time for bed, lads" Gorden said.