Just Like That

(Head. Buck. Buck. Head. Head-Head. Buck-Buck.)

Gorden and Cola were dragged from the deepest sleep they'd had for weeks by a banging on the door.

Pulling a dressing jacket on, (one of his five different ones - this one had a cartoon human woman with long red hair embroidered on the chest pocket) Gorden stepped carefully over his things towards the door.

"All right, all right." He muttered as he reached the door.

He pulled the door open and Phump nearly fell into the room.

"Head!" He said, "Buck!" His eyes were wide, "Head Buck!" He panted, "Buck! Head!" Phump obviously decide that this was as much as he could manage, and Gorden *must* have got the message by now, so he turned to go.

"What does he want now?" Gorden said to himself. Phump heard him and turned back, eyes wide and staring.

"He doesn't *want* anything. He's dead!" He hissed at Gorden. "Come on!"

---*---

Outside the Head Bucks office, Lotte, his secretary, sat crying. She nodded Gorden to the door.

"S'open." She said between sobs.

Gorden took a deep breath, clenched his paws into fists and stepped into the office.

---*---

He came out, whiter than he'd entered, understanding Phump's incoherence earlier.

He tapped a paw onto Lotte's shoulder.

"Go home for the day, doe. Have a stiff drink. Doctor's orders." Then to himself, "Hell, I need one."

Gorden looked at Phump. The message-rabbit was rocking back and forth on the pads of his back paws, itching to do something, anything.

"Who did he nominate to succeed him?" Gorden asked. Phump shook his head.

"No one." He brightened up, realising he had a decent task coming up which would get him busy. "We'll have to gather the Elders!"

"Elders. Reporters." Gorden slumped into Lotte's vacant chair and then looked up at his friend. "I've seen far too much death these past few weeks, Phump. I've seen more than one good friend or colleague dead in front of me.

"Acquaintances have died. Prophets have died. Bats and foxes and ferrets and swans.

"I'm sick of all this." He sighed and closed his eyes. "Phump," he said without raising his head, "Notify the Elders. Wake those doddering fools up and we'll listen to them mumble to themselves for a week.

"I'm going to find who did this.

"And stop it happening again."

"The Elders!" Phump trumpeted and raced off.

---*---

Master Phearson arrived first, he was one of the youngest of the Elders and was probably the only one awake when Phump went round, or so Gorden thought.

"They'll have to be an inquest, Gorden me lad." He said after he'd viewed the body. "We can't.." He began to say something then stopped, two more of the Elders had arrived with Phump and, behind all of them, trying to ask questions and jumping up so as to see over the Elders, Gorden could see Mable Leaf - the reporter he'd nearly bedded before the quest. She still owed him a favour or two and he started to think of cashing them in.

"Master Cadam, Master Tavish," She was shouting at the two recently arrived Elders, "Can I have your comment please? Is it true that the head buck died without a fight?" Then she said something that chilled Gorden to the bone. "Is it true that Gorden is the prime suspect?" Her tone changed, "Everyone knows he coveted the title..."

Gorden was dumbstruck. His jaw popped open and then closed. His mouth opened then closed again.

"MISS LEAF!" Master Cadam turned on the bouncing doe, commanding, "Go away! We will talk to you in due course." He stood as straight as his ageing back would let him and held his fists to his waist.

"This is censorship of the press!" Mable started, "The people have a right to know!"

"Yes, Miss Leaf," Master Cadam said in a totally reasonable voice, "They have a right to know the truth. I trust you wouldn't dare print unsubstantiated claims? We *will* talk to you." His brow furrowed and he stared a Paddington stare. "But we will at least view the body and the scene first." He prodded her with his index finger as he said this. "Now, go away, scedaddle! We'll send for you when we have something for you to print."

Throughout the whole of this Gorden's mouth worked up and down; once Cadam had finished his tirade at the reporter he turned to Gorden. The first words that popped out of Gorden's mouth were "Nice castle."

"Gorden," Cadam said, "It was very good of you to send for us immediately, however it would have been best if this messenger-rabbit had come for us before asking you to visit. You do realise that you are the prime candidate if anything suspicious has happened to the Head Buck?"

Gorden's brain finally connected to his mouth for long enough to him to speak a coherent sentence. "Suspicious? He's dead for Bugs Sake! His head has been chopped from his body and, and, and.."

"It was nothing resembling natural causes," Phearson added, "Unless having a metal carrot rammed so far through the throat so as to decapitate the skull is a natural occurrence that I was hitherto unaware of."

"Can I quote you on that?" Came a voice from the back. Tavish, aware that he hadn't joined in the conversation yet rounded on the young lady, "Miss Leaf you were told to scedaddle, if that was not clear to you before I suggest that you go and find a dictionary and look the word up. NOW!"

A mumbling noise came from the young doe as she backed off. Gorden laid odds that she'd just stop as soon as she got to the first corner and wait there.

*He* was a suspect! A shiver passed down his body from the back of his neck to this fluffy tail and back up to his ears.

Cadam patted Gorden on the shoulder.

"Look, young buck," he started, "I suggest you get back to your hole and let us take it from here. You're a suspect; any pretender to the Head Buck's position would be a suspect at a time like this and I think it's best if you leave the investigation to us.

---*---

And before you ask. "Scedaddle" isn't in my dictionary either.

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