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Tales of the Riverbank: The Next Generation
The drizzle had been going for nearly half an hour when David came
over all strange and took it into his head to cheer everyone up. He decided
to live up to his nickname and tell some jokes. Some of them would even
be repeatable in polite company.
“So the badger says ‘But they all come in blue..’” David stifled
a giggle as he told the punch line. Gorden roared with laughter, Cola closed
her eyes with a broad smile on her lips. Plessey gave an almighty cackle.
“’..and mine’s fallen off!’” He finished. Failing to stifle any
longer he giggled profusely. With the final part of the punch line Gorden
stamped his foot and Cola actually laughed out loud.
“No more! No more!” Plessey squeezed out between fits of laughter.
“I can’t hold my sides in any more!”
There was an almighty lurch in the raft which brought them to their
senses, the raft span through nearly ninety degrees before Gorden and Cola
took a tight hold of their respective oars and began to paddle. The raft
had swung towards the middle of the river. The water was much faster there,
not so safe for four small animals to travel on.
“HARDER!” Gorden shouted to Cola – he had managed to gain some control
over his side but she was still fighting with the river. Cola was losing.
“That’s my line.” She managed between clenched teeth.
Suddenly, with a flash of lightning, shortly followed by a crack
of thunder, the heavens opened. What was a friendly shower turned into
a monsoon. Or, at least, as much of a monsoon as you get in England in
the springtime.
“David!” Gorden shouted, “Help me!” Gorden gave a couple of hard
kicks with his oar and handed it to a rather intimidated David. “I’ve got
to help Cola.” He explained as the gerbil took the oar.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” David said to himself as Gorden rushed towards the other end of the raft.
Gorden got to Cola and, standing beside her, put his hands on the oar, together they pushed against the water and started to aim her end back towards the riverbank.
In the centre of the raft Plessey was trying to stop their supplies from getting too wet. At the aft end David was feeling a little lost, he made a couple of token paddles in the water but knew that his strength wasn’t up to much. He started making a high-pitched whining noise.
Gorden was just breathing a sigh of relief that he and Cola had got
control of the raft when David’s plaintive cry entered his body through
the ears and made his back-bone shiver. His eyes opened wide and he turned
back towards his small friend. David wasn’t trying any more; he had the
oar out of the water and was waving it in the air, well a few inches in
the air. The rain had soaked his skin and he looked half the size he normally
did. Gorden grimly smiled to himself, he probably didn’t look much better
himself.
Suddenly the raft dropped down; Gorden looked towards the
front – whilst they had been wrestling with the current the river had narrowed
and ahead he could see white water – a stretch of rapids.
“Shit.” He said to himself. Cola was just getting up; she had fallen
down when they hit the first rapid. She was facing him and seem slightly
dazed. Gorden took a step towards her and shouted, “RAPIDS! HOLD ON TO
SOMETHING!” Cola turned to look to the front and the raft took another
almighty drop, she was knocked to her knees by the force of the bumping.
This team had not signed on for white water rafting – it looked
like they were about to experience a bonus on their pleasure trip.
Gorden started towards Cola then remembered David’s consternation.
He spun around to see how David was coping.
David was on all fours and had dropped the oar. He appeared to be
attempting to hug the deck, the oar trapped under his back legs. Gorden
nodded to himself and turned back to Cola.
Three steps and he was with her. He took her oar in one hand and used the other hand to pull her half up, half towards the middle of the raft. She grabbed the oar and he helped her to stand up. She smiled and they took a step towards the middle of the raft.
The raft dropped again, water splashing everywhere and the raft was
swung wide and spun fast – Gorden felt like the ball on a pin table when
it goes just right between two kickers and is hit back and forth, back
and forth, back and forth, racking the score up.
Or he would have done if he’d ever seen a pinball table.
But at least you know what I mean.
Cola and Gorden fell in opposite directions. Cola let go of the
oar they were holding. Unfortunately Gorden let go as well and it dropped
out of his hands and rolled away from both of them towards the back of
the raft.
“Got it!” Shouted David – he lunged across the raft at the spinning
oar and grabbed it before it could go over the edge.
The raft dropped again and the waves rushed over thee rabbits.
“Bugger this for a game of tin soldiers.” Gorden swore. Then he
noticed.
David had been swept off the raft and was holding on with one paw.
Gorden could see the look in David’s eyes – that hard, pin-like look that
meant his friend was holding something in. Probably a few mouthfuls of
river water this time.
David’s other front paw waved frantically at the raft. Gorden looked
at Cola to check she was alright then crawled towards David.
David’s paw connected with the raft as Gorden reached him.
He raft dropped and spun again.
David lost hold of the raft - Gorden lunged at him, trying to get
hold of his front paws. He missed.
“Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!”
Was the last Gorden heard from David.
Gorden shook with emotion. He just stared up the river, his eyes
trying to see a small damp and not -very-furry-at–the-moment animal.
He thought he could just see a small arm waving through the white
water.
The raft dropped again.
Gorden felt a paw on his back, and an arm curl around him. Cola had reached him and was hugging him. Plessey carefully slid under her other arm and the three, remaining, animals crouched together in the centre of the boat.
The raft dropped.
The raft spun.
Waves crashed over the raft.
Abruptly, the rain halted but the sky got darker. Gorden looked
up and saw that they were passing under a bridge.
Suddenly the raft was back out into the torrent, but the flow of
the river had changed as well. Raising his head Gorden could see that the
river had joined into another. The realisation dawned that they were now
being forced South, away from home, not towards it.
He needn’t have worried much.
With one almighty crunching noise the raft hit the river bank and
splintered. The three animals were thrown onto the bank along with the
source of a thousand matches.
Gorden raised his head and howled in anguish, squeezing Cola tightly.
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Insults and Critique to : gorden@nobby.co.uk