Requiem

"I remember long ago, when the sun was shining.
"And the stars were bright, all through the night...

"I first met the swans, well let's just say I'd just got out of school.
I'd taken a summer job, not a proper one, not a career. This was before I was apprenticed to Parbold, so I had none of the wizardly skills I have today.
I was running errands for a businessman, basically acting as his go between to the parts of society that a businessman can't be seen to be in contact with. But where the money was.
Like with drugs, there are ways of multiplying your money tenfold, but the man on the street doesn't have the capital nor the guts for *that* kind of business deal.
If I could recall all the names and faces I'd passed clandestine messages and parcels to I'd be either the richest man alive or the most hunted.
Anyway, as I was saying, my boss, I'll call him Dick, for anonymity's sake, was worried about his future.
"Marvin," He said to me, and I swore that one day I'd be important enough for him to remember my name, "Melvin, Have you ever worried about the future?"
"Well, boss," I said, "Not really. I haven't had enough *past* yet, so I've no care about the rest of my life."
"Well, that's where we differ, Billy my lad, and I envy you." He slapped me on the back, "I've got enough past to fill a score of coffins and then some." He chuckled at himself, "And I've decided to do something about it!"
"I wasn't there, Boss!" I said in a panic. "I don't even know *who* I'm talking to!"
"Don't worry, Gilbert me laddie," I don't mean like that! No, I think it's about time I got myself my own private fortune teller!"
I was a little sceptical.
"I'm a little sceptical, Boss." I said.
"Ach!" He spat, "That's exactly why I decided this was your task. I need someone who will look sideways at these upside-down talkers!
"And you're my man, Smith!"
"You know me, sir." I weaselled, "I will do anything you ask of me." I paused, "Well, except *that*."
"Luckily for you, Albert, you're not my type.
"But I've drawn up a list of people whom I'd like you to meet on my behalf, to talk about these see-ers, on my behalf, to maybe organise 'lunch'.
"On my behalf."
"Well, as long as it's for you, boss." I said.
"Unfortunately I can't trust you with the list, so you're going to have to make it up as you go along."
"I've learnt from the master, boss."
"Just don't let me catch you with him."
So there I was, thrown out into the world with a simple mission: Find the best fortune teller in the business.
I started off with the fairground sideshows.
'Mr Miracle The Amazing' Was truly unamazing.
'Miss Ticmeg' Was full of tic but was a real miss.
'Gypsy Rosie Lee' Made a good cuppa but couldn't tell me what the leaves said. (To me they said, quite clearly: "The tea bag's burst.")

I left the fairgrounds behind and made my way around the head-shops, keeping one ear open to see what hippies had the Gift.
I met a girl who sing the blues. I asked her for tomorrow's news. She just smiled and turned away.
I wooed the Fire-Witch and travelled with her to the Crimson King's court. I passed through his followers like a bad case of diahorrea and found nothing but whispers and echoes and the true meaning of Soft and Strong (and Very Very Long).
I rode a wild tarkus on a quest to see the Evil Karn. He told me tales of pirates and manticores but nothing of the future.
I was disgraced, a failure. Luckily at this juncture I met a seasoned witch who called me up from the depths. She taught me my first magic and we became one under the sun.
I realised I'd been searching for two years and hadn't heard from my patron. I checked; my credit card bill was still being paid. So he was still expecting me to return with his future. Rejuvenated I started out again with hope in my heart.
I was hit by a bus.
"Sorry," The driver said, "I was aiming for that IT project head who'd just crossed the road, dammit!"
I was recuperating in hospital when I heard whispers about the swans.
There were two swans. "They" said. Two swans who knew everything. Two swans, sisters from birth, who could see into your soul and determine what you needed.
Great, I thought, one for the boss and one for me.
I followed the whispers and found these woods.
The Head Buck was a Young Buck in those days and it was he who met me at the edge of the forest and took me to see them.
It was if he'd been expecting me.
"I've been expecting you." He said.
He stood outside the reed cavern and ushered me in.
"Hello, brother."
"Brother." They said. "We are glad."
"Are glad to finally meet."
"Meet you. We."
"We must tell."
"tell you what you need."
"need. You must find a different patron."
"Patron. He is at the."
"Bottom."
"Bottom."
And that was it. The last word they spoke to me for a year.
I eventually apprenticed myself to a carp called Parbold. He lived at the bottom of a marina in a sunken barge.
It was a difficult apprenticeship. I can't swim and he can't breath air.
But he was proud of my progress and one year after meeting him he sent me to see the swans.
"You must absolve yourself of your other mission. They will help." He gurgled.
I went to see the swans, taking a pad and paper as my master had suggested.
"Twenty-one"
"Thirty-two"
"Thirty-five"
"Ten"
"Thirty-four"
"Six"
"Forty-two"
It took me five days to track down my former boss. He was a shadow of his former self.
"I'm a shadow of my former self." He said, once he'd recognised me. "My fortunes have turned.
"Well, Bigby, what have you got for me?"
I reeled off the list of numbers.
"And, so?" Said Dick, "What do yesterday's lottery numbers have to do with anything?"
I was stunned.
"I've a good mind to cut your card off." He said.

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Insults and Critique to :  gorden@nobby.co.uk